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Whenever the topic of estate planning comes up, people invariably mention creating a will. And with good reason—having a will is a foundational aspect of your estate plan.

However, a will is only one small part of effective planning. In fact, if your plan consists of a will alone, you’re guaranteeing your family will have to go to court when you die. There’s a saying in the lawyer world of estate planning: “Where there’s a will, there’s a probate.” And it’s no laughing matter.

In our view, a primary goal of estate planning is to keep your family out of court and out of conflict no matter what happens to you. Yet with only a will in place, your plan can fall woefully short of that goal, leaving your loved ones—and yourself, if you become incapacitated —susceptible to getting stuck in an unnecessary, expensive, time-consuming, and public court process.  

Here’s why having just a will is not enough:

A will offers no protection against incapacity

A will helps ensure your assets are properly distributed when you die. But it offers no protection if you become incapacitated and are unable to make decisions about your own medical, financial, and legal needs.

Should you become incapacitated with only a will in place, your family would have to petition the court to appoint a guardian or conservator to manage your affairs, which can be extremely costly, time consuming, and traumatic. The first article in this series offers an in-depth look at some of the consequences of failing to plan for incapacity.

Your family must still go to court

While you may think having a will allows your loved ones to inherit your assets without court intervention, this is not true. For your assets to be legally transferred to your beneficiaries, your will must first pass through the court process called probate.

The probate process can be an extremely distressing for your loved ones. The proceedings can drag out over months or even years, and in most instances, your family will have to hire an attorney, generating hefty legal bills that can quickly drain your estate.

Moreover, probate is public, so anyone can find out the value and contents of your estate. They can also learn what and how much your family members inherit, making them tempting targets for frauds and scammers.

And if you think you can just pass on your assets using beneficiary designations to avoid all of this… well, that’s just asking for trouble. In fact, we plan to write a whole separate article on that topic in a future installment of this series.

A will doesn’t protect against creditors, lawsuits or poor decisions

Passing on your assets using a will leaves those assets vulnerable to several potential threats. If your will distributes your assets to your beneficiaries outright, those assets are not only subject to claims made by a beneficiary’s creditors, they are also vulnerable to lawsuits and divorce settlements the beneficiary may be involved in.

And if assets left via a will pass to beneficiaries without any conditions, those assets are susceptible to the beneficiary’s own poor judgment. For instance, a sudden windfall of cash could cause serious problems for someone with poor money-management abilities and/or addiction issues.

Not all assets are covered by a will

Some assets can’t even be included in a will. For example, a will only covers assets or property owned solely in your name. It does not cover property co-owned by you with others listed as joint tenants, nor does a will cover assets that pass directly to a beneficiary by contract, such as a life insurance policy or retirement account.

Don’t let your plan fall short

Though a will is an integral part of your estate plan, a will is almost never enough by itself. Instead, wills are often combined with other planning vehicles, such as living trusts, to provide a level of protection devoid of any gaps or blind spots. And here’s the thing: If your plan is incomplete, it’s your family that suffers, having to clean it all up after you are gone.

Proper estate planning can keep your family out of conflict, out of court, and out of the public eye. If you’re ready to create a comprehensive estate plan, contact us to schedule your Estate Plan Strategy Session. Even if you already have a plan in place, we will review it and help you bring it up to date to avoid heartache for your family. Schedule online today.

In the first part of this series, we discussed one of the most frequent causes for dispute over your estate plan. Here, we’ll look at another leading cause for dispute and offer strategies for its prevention.

No matter how well you think you know your family, you can never predict how they’ll behave when you die or if you become incapacitated.

Family dynamics are complicated and prone to conflict during even the best of times, but when tragedy strikes a key member of the household, minor tensions and disagreements can explode into bitter conflict. And when access to money is involved, the potential for discord is exponentially increased.

No one wants to believe their family would ever end up battling one another in court over inheritance issues or a loved one’s life-saving medical treatment, but we see it all the time.

This is especially true for those who rely on do-it-yourself estate planning documents found online.

The good news is you can dramatically reduce the odds of such conflict by enlisting the support of an experienced lawyer to assist you in creating your estate plan. Even the best set of documents will be unable to anticipate and navigate the complex emotional dynamics that make up your life and family, but we can.

Last week, we discussed one of the most common reasons for dispute, poor fiduciary selection, which involves selecting the wrong trustee, executor, or guardian for your kids. Today, we focus on another leading catalyst for conflict: contests to the validity of your will and/or trust.  

2. Contesting the validity of wills and trusts

The validity of your will and/or trust can be contested in court for a few different reasons. If such a contest is successful, the court declares your will or trust invalid, which effectively means the document(s) never existed in the first place. Obviously, this would likely be disastrous for everyone involved, especially your intended beneficiaries.

However, just because someone disagrees with what he or she received in your will or trust doesn’t mean that person can contest it. Whether or not the individual agrees with the terms of your plan is irrelevant; it is your plan after all. Rather, he or she must prove that your plan is invalid (and should be thrown out) based on one or more of the following legal grounds:

• The document was improperly executed (signed, witnessed, and/or notarized) as required by state law.
• You did not have the necessary mental capacity at the time you created the document to understand what you were doing.
• Someone unduly influenced or coerced you into creating or changing the document.
• The document was procured by fraud.

Furthermore, only those individuals with “legal standing” can contest your will or trust. Just because someone was intimately involved in your life, even if they’re a blood relative, doesn’t automatically mean they can legally contest your plan.

Those with the potential for legal standing generally fall into two categories:

1) Family members who would inherit, or inherit more, under state law if you never created the document.2) Beneficiaries (family, friends, and charities) named or given a larger bequest in a previous version of the document.

Solution: There are times when family members might contest your will and/or trust over legitimate concerns, such as if they believe you were tricked or coerced into changing your plan by an unscrupulous caregiver. However, that’s not what we’re addressing here.

Here, we’re addressing—and seeking to prevent—contests that are attempts by disgruntled family members and/or would-be beneficiaries seeking to increase the benefit they received through your plan. We’re also seeking to prevent contests that are a result of disputes between members of blended families, particularly those that arise between spouses and children from a previous marriage.

First off, working with an experienced lawyer is of paramount importance if you have one or more family members who are unhappy—or who may be unhappy—with how they are treated in your plan. This need is especially critical if you’re seeking to disinherit or favor one part of your family over another.  

Some of the leading reasons for such unhappiness include having a plan that benefits some children more than others, as well as when your plan benefits friends, unmarried domestic partners, and/or other individuals instead of, or in addition to, your family. Conflict is also likely when you name a third party trustee to manage an adult beneficiary’s inheritance because he or she is likely to be negatively affected by the sudden windfall of money.

In these cases, it’s vital to make sure your plan is properly created and maintained to ensure these individuals will not have any legal ground to contest your will or trust. One way you can do this is to include clear language that you are making the choices laid out in your plan of your own free will, so no one will be able to challenge your wishes by claiming your incapacity or duress.

Beyond having a sound plan in place, it’s also crucial that you clearly communicate your intentions to everyone affected by your will or trust while you’re still alive, rather than having them learn about it when you’re no longer around. Indeed, we often recommend holding a family meeting (which we can help facilitate) to go over everything with all impacted parties.

Outside of contests originated by disgruntled loved ones, the potential for your will or trust to cause dispute is significantly increased if you have a blended family. If you are in a second (or more) marriage, with children from a prior marriage, there’s an inherent risk of dispute because your children and spouse often have conflicting interests.  

To reduce the likelihood of dispute, it’s crucial that your plan contain clear and unambiguous terms spelling out the beneficiaries’ exact rights, along with the rights and responsibilities of executors and/or trustees. Such precise terms help ensure all parties know exactly what you intended.

If you have a blended family, it’s also essential that you meet with all affected parties while you’re still alive (and of sound mind) to clearly explain your wishes in person. Sharing your intentions and hopes for the future with your spouse and children is key to avoiding disagreements over your true wishes for them.

The best way to deal with estate planning disputes is to do everything possible to make sure they never occur in the first place. This means putting in place planning strategies aimed at anticipating and avoiding common sources of conflict.

Proper estate planning can keep your family out of conflict, out of court, and out of the public eye. If you’re ready to create a comprehensive estate plan, contact us to schedule your Estate Plan Strategy Session. Even if you already have a plan in place, we will review it and help you bring it up to date to avoid heartache for your family. Schedule online today.

No matter how well you think you know your loved ones, it’s impossible to predict exactly how they’ll behave when you die or become incapacitated.

Of course, no one wants to believe their family would ever end up battling one another in court over inheritance issues or a loved one’s life-saving medical treatment, but we see it all the time.

Family dynamics are extremely complicated and prone to conflict during even the best of times. And when tragedy strikes a key member of the household, even minor tensions and disagreements can explode into bitter conflict. When access to money is on the line, the potential for discord is exponentially increased.

The good news is you can drastically reduce the odds of conflict through estate planning with the support of a lawyer who understands and can anticipate these dynamics. This is why it’s so important to work with an experienced lawyer when creating your estate plan and never relying on generic, do-it-yourself documents found online. Unfortunately, even the best set of do-it-yourself fill-in-the-blank programs will be unable to anticipate and navigate complex emotional matters like this.

By becoming aware of some of the leading causes of such disputes, you’re in a better position to prevent those situations through effective planning. Though it’s impossible to predict what issues might arise around your plan, the following two things are among the most common catalysts for conflict (we cover the first in this post, and then we will cover the second in next week’s post).

1. Poor fiduciary selection

Many estate planning disputes occur when a person you’ve chosen to handle your affairs following your death or incapacity fails to carry out his or her responsibilities properly. Whether they are acting as your power of attorney, executor, or trustee, these roles entail a variety of different duties, some of which can last for years.

The individual you select, known as a fiduciary, is legally required to execute those duties and act in the best interests of the beneficiaries named in your plan. The failure to do either of those things is referred to as a “breach of fiduciary duty.”

The breach can be the result of the person’s deliberate action, or it could be something he or she does unintentionally. Either way, a breach – or even the perception of one – can cause serious conflict among your loved ones. This is especially true if the fiduciary attempts to use the position for personal gain or if the improper actions negatively impact the beneficiaries.

Common breaches include failing to provide required accounting and tax information to beneficiaries, improperly using estate or trust assets for the fiduciary’s personal benefit, making improper distributions, and failing to pay taxes, debts, and/or expenses owed by the estate or trust.

If a suspected breach occurs, beneficiaries can sue to have the fiduciary removed, recover any damages they incurred, and even recover punitive damages if the breach was committed out of malice or fraud.

The solution to this problem, given the potentially immense responsibilities involved, is to be extremely careful when selecting your fiduciaries, and make sure everyone in your family knows why you chose the fiduciary you did. You should only choose the most honest, trustworthy, and diligent individuals, and also be careful not to select those who might have potential conflicts of interest with beneficiaries.

Moreover, it is vital that your planning documents contain clear terms spelling out a fiduciary’s responsibilities and duties so the individual understands exactly what is expected of him or her. And should things go awry, you can add terms to your plan that allow beneficiaries to remove and replace a fiduciary without going to court.

An experienced attorney who is sensitive to family dynamics can assist you with selecting the most qualified fiduciaries; drafting the most precise, explicit, and understandable terms in all of your planning documents; and ensuring that your family understands your choices so they do not end up in conflict when it is too late. In this way, the individuals you select to carry out your wishes will have the best chances of doing so successfully – and with as little conflict as possible.

Next week, we’ll continue with part two in this series discussing common causes for dispute over estate planning.

Proper estate planning can keep your family out of conflict, out of court, and out of the public eye. If you’re ready to create a comprehensive estate plan, contact us to schedule your Estate Plan Strategy Session. Even if you already have a plan in place, we will review it and help you bring it up to date to avoid heartache for your family. Schedule online today.

While most people assume only the uber wealthy need to worry about asset protection, those with less wealth and fewer assets may be at an even greater risk.

For example, if you’re a multi-millionaire then a $50,000 judgment against you might not be that big of a burden. But for a family with a modest income, home, and savings, that could be catastrophic.

Asset protection planning isn’t something you can put off until something bad happens. Like all planning, to be effective, you must have asset protection strategies in place well before something happens. Plus, your asset protection plan isn’t a one-and-done deal: It must be regularly updated to accommodate changes to your family structure and asset profile.

There are numerous planning strategies available for asset protection. Three of the most common strategies include the following:

1. Insurance

Purchasing different forms of insurance – homeowners, health, and auto, for example – should always be the first line of defense to protect your assets. If you are ever sued, defending yourself in court can be extremely costly whether or not you’re ultimately found at fault.

Not only is insurance designed to help you pay damages if a lawsuit against you is successful, but the insurance company is also responsible for hiring you a lawyer and paying his or her attorney fees to defend you in court, whether you lose or win.

Insurance policies come with various amounts of coverage so you should seriously consider buying umbrella insurance as well. If your underlying insurance policy maxes out, an “umbrella” policy will help cover any remaining damages and legal expenses. We can evaluate your current policies and advise you about the types and amounts of insurance you should have for maximum asset protection.

2. Statutory Exemptions

Another way to protect your family’s assets is by taking full advantage of federal and state laws that make certain types of assets “exempt” from creditor claims and judgments. Depending on your state, the availability and amount of protection offered by such exemptions vary.

For example, many states offer a homestead exemption, which protects a certain amount – or even the full value – of the equity you have in your primary residence from creditors. With a homestead exemption, paying down your mortgage could protect funds that would otherwise be vulnerable to creditors.

Similarly, federal and state laws classify many retirement plans, such as 401ks and IRAs, as exempt assets, while some states also offer significant, or complete, exemptions for life insurance policies and annuities, as well.

Even though exemptions won’t offer you total protection, they can provide significant shelter for certain assets. Plus, using statutory exemptions are something that can be accomplished without investing anything – all that is required is for you to understand how best to structure your investments to take advantage of these exemptions. We can teach you what kinds and amounts of exemptions are available.

3. Business Entities

Owning a business can be an incredible wealth-generating asset for your family, but it can also be a serious liability. Without the proper protection, your personal assets are extremely vulnerable if your company ever runs into trouble. For example, if your business is currently a sole proprietorship or general partnership, you are personally liable for any debts or lawsuits incurred by your business.

Structuring your business as a limited liability company (LLC) is typically the best way to go for many small businesses. When properly set up and maintained, the LLC creates an impenetrable barrier between your personal assets and your business activities. Creditors, clients, and other potentially litigious individuals can go after assets owned by your company, but not your personal assets.

4. Estate Planning

While each of the asset-protection scenarios shared above are “maybes,” there is one certainty in life – death. It’s coming for all of us. And your death, or an incapacity before it, is the biggest risk to your family’s assets. Planning in advance for what is certain to come is a gift to the people you love the most.

If you’ve been putting it off, now is the time to get it handled so you have peace of mind your loved ones and assets are protected from court and conflict.

Proper estate planning can keep your family out of conflict, out of court, and out of the public eye. If you’re ready to create a comprehensive estate plan, contact us to schedule your Estate Plan Strategy Session. Even if you already have a plan in place, we will review it and help you bring it up to date to avoid heartache for your family. Schedule online today.

Selecting a beneficiary for your life insurance policy sounds pretty straightforward. You’re just deciding who will receive the policy’s proceeds when you die, right? But as with most things in life, it’s a bit more complicated than that. It can help to keep in mind that naming someone as your life insurance beneficiary really has nothing to do with you: It should be based on how the funds will affect the beneficiary’s life once you’re no longer here.

It’s very likely that if you’ve purchased life insurance, you did so to make someone’s  life better or easier in some way in the wake of your death. But unless you consider all of the unique circumstances involved with your choice, you might actually end up creating additional problems for the people you love.

Given the potential complexities involved, here are a few important questions you should ask yourself when choosing your life insurance beneficiary:

1. What are you trying to accomplish?

The first thing to consider is the “real” reason you’re buying life insurance. On the surface, the reason may simply be because it’s the responsible thing for adults to do. But we recommend you dig deeper to discover what you ultimately intend to accomplish with your life insurance.Are you married and looking to replace your income for your spouse and kids after death? Are you single without kids and just trying to cover the costs of your funeral? Are you leaving behind money for your grandkids’ college fund? Are you intending to make sure your business continues after you’re gone? Or perhaps your life insurance is in place to cover a future estate-tax burden?The real reason you’re investing in life insurance is something only you can answer. The answer is critical, because it is what determines how much and what kind of life insurance you should have in the first place. And by first clearly understanding what you’re actually intending  to accomplish with the policy, you’ll be in a much better position to make your ultimate decision—who to select as beneficiary.

2. What are your beneficiary options?

Your insurance company will ask you to name a primary beneficiary—your top choice to get the insurance money at the time of your death. If you fail to name a beneficiary, the insurance company will distribute the proceeds to your estate upon your death. If your estate is the beneficiary of your life insurance, that means a probate court judge will direct where your insurance money goes at the completion of the probate process. And this process can tie your life insurance proceeds up in court for months or even years. To keep this from happening to your loved ones, be sure to name—at the very least—one primary beneficiary.In case your primary beneficiary dies before you, you should also name at least one contingent (alternate) beneficiary. For maximum protection, you should probably name more than one contingent beneficiary in case both your primary and secondary choices have died before you. Yet, even these seemingly straightforward choices are often more complicated than they appear due to the options available.For example, you can name multiple primary beneficiaries, like your children, and have the proceeds divided among them in whatever way you wish. What’s more, the beneficiary doesn’t necessarily have to be a person. You can name a charity, nonprofit, or business as the primary (or contingent) beneficiary.

It’s important to note that if you name a minor child as a primary or contingent beneficiary (and he or she ends up receiving the policy proceeds), a legal guardian must be appointed to manage the funds until the child comes of age. This can lead to numerous complications (which we’ll discuss in detail next week in Part Two), so you should definitely consult with an experienced Family Law attorney like us if you’re considering this option.

When selecting your beneficiaries, you should ultimately base your decision on which person(s) or organization(s) you think would most benefit from the money. In general, you can designate one or more of the following examples as beneficiaries:

• One person
• Two or more people (you decide how money is split among them)
• A trust you’ve created
• Your estate
• A charity, nonprofit, or business

3. Does your state have community property laws?

If you’re married, you’ll likely choose your spouse as the primary beneficiary. But unless you live in a state with community-property laws, you can technically choose anyone: a close friend, your favorite charity, or simply the person you think needs the money most.

That said, if you do live in a community-property state, your spouse is entitled to the policy proceeds and will have to sign a form waiving his or her rights to the insurance money  if you want to name someone else as beneficiary. Currently, community-property states include Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, and Wisconsin.

Proper estate planning can keep your family out of conflict, out of court, and out of the public eye. If you’re ready to create a comprehensive estate plan, contact us to schedule your Estate Plan Strategy Session. Even if you already have a plan in place, we will review it and help you bring it up to date to avoid heartache for your family. Schedule online today.

Like many taxpayers, if you’ve already filed your federal income taxes for 2018, you may be surprised to discover you’re not getting a refund this time.  If so, this was almost certainly due to the sweeping tax overhaul made by the 2017 Tax Cut and Jobs Act (TCJA).

Since personal tax rates were lowered by the TCJA, it’s natural to assume you would owe less taxes, not more. But as you may have discovered, this isn’t always the case.

Seeing that the TCJA was promised to offer most people a tax break, understanding why you might owe more taxes in 2018 (rather than less) can be confusing. The following questions and answers are designed to shed some light on this situation, so you can start revising your tax strategies for coming years.

Q: What changed?

A: In addition to lowering personal income tax rates, the TCJA doubled the standard exemption to $12,000, added limits to deductions for state and local taxes (SALT), eliminated personal exemptions, set limits on deductions for home-mortgage interest, among many other changes. Given all of the changes, you may find that you’re no longer withholding the proper amount of taxes from your paycheck and/or quarterly installments to the IRS. When filing, this can result in either overpaying your taxes (and getting a refund) or underpaying (and owing money).

Q: What does this mean for me?

A: In light of these new changes, you should carefully review your withholding and make adjustments if necessary. To help with this, the IRS published new withholding tables and updated its withholding calculator into which you can input your current tax data to see if you need to make any changes.

Q: How do I change my withholding?

A: If you work as an employee, you change your withholding by making adjustments to your W-4. If you work for yourself, you either increase or decrease your estimated quarterly payments. A W-4 determines how much income tax is withheld from your pay by your employer. You fill out a W-4 when you start a new job, but you can change it at any time. Specifically, the form asks you for the number of allowances you want to claim based on personal factors, such as being married and/or having children and filing as head of household.

The more allowances you claim, the less federal income tax your employer will withhold, which translates to more money in your paycheck. The fewer allowances you claim, the more federal income tax your employer will withhold, lowering your take-home pay.

It’s important that you withhold the proper amount from your paycheck or make quarterly payments. Don’t withhold enough, and you’ll owe the IRS at the end of the year. Withhold too much, and you might get a big refund, but you’ve basically given the government an interest-free loan for that year.

Maximize your tax savings

Adjusting your withholding is just one of many strategies you can use to save on your taxes. Indeed, the TCJA also changed tax laws that have the potential to affect your estate planning strategies as well. In light of this, when the 2018 tax season wraps up, we’ll be pairing up with one of our favorite local CPAs to bring you support and guidance that you can use to maximize your tax savings in 2019 and beyond. Contact us to learn more.

Proper estate planning can keep your family out of conflict, out of court, and out of the public eye. If you’re ready to create a comprehensive estate plan, contact us to schedule your Estate Plan Strategy Session. Even if you already have a plan in place, we will review it and help you bring it up to date to avoid heartache for your family. Schedule online today.

Unlike most of your assets, individual retirement accounts (IRAs) do not pass to your family through a will. Instead, upon your death, your IRA will pass directly to the people you named via your IRA beneficiary designation form.Unless you take extra steps, the named beneficiary can do whatever he or she wants with the account’s funds once you’re gone. The beneficiary could cash out some or all of the IRA and spend it, invest the funds in other securities, or leave the money in the IRA for as long as possible.For a number of reasons that we’ll address more below, you might not want your heirs to receive your retirement savings all at once. One way to prevent this is to designate your IRA into a trust. But you can’t just use any trust to hold an IRA; you’ll need to set up a special type of revocable trust specifically designed to act as the beneficiary of your IRA upon your death. Such a trust is referred to by different names—IRA Living Trust, IRA Inheritor’s Trust, IRA Stretch Trust—but for this article, we’re simply going to call it an IRA Trust.IRA Trusts offer a number of valuable benefits to both you and your beneficiaries. If you have significant assets invested through one or more IRA accounts, you might want to consider the following advantages of adding an IRA Trust to your estate plan.

1. Protection from creditors, lawsuits, & divorce

While IRAs are typically protected from creditors while you’re alive, once you die and the funds pass to your beneficiaries, the IRA can lose its protected status when your beneficiary distributes the funds to him or herself. One way to counteract this is to leave your retirement assets through an IRA Trust, in which case your IRA funds will be shielded from creditors as long as they remain in the trust.IRA Trusts are also useful if you’re in a second (or more) marriage and want your IRA assets to be used for the benefit of your surviving spouse while he or she is living, and then to distributed or be held for the benefit of your children from a prior marriage after your surviving spouse passes. This would ensure that your surviving spouse cannot divert retirement assets to a new spouse, to his or her children from a prior marriage, or lose them to a creditor before the funds ultimately get to your children.

2. Protection from the beneficiary’s own bad behavior

In addition to outside creditors, an IRA Trust can also help protect the beneficiary from his or her own poor money-management skills and spending habits. If the IRA passes to your beneficiary directly, there’s nothing stopping him or her from quickly blowing through the wealth you’ve worked your whole life to build.

When you create an IRA Trust, however, you can add restrictions to the trust’s terms that control when the money is distributed as well as how it is to be spent. For example, you might stipulate that the beneficiary can only access the funds at a certain age or upon the completion of college. Or you might stipulate that the assets can only be used for healthcare needs or a home purchase. With our support,  you can get as creative as you want with the trust’s terms.

3. Tax savings

One of the primary benefits of traditional IRAs is that they offer a period of tax-deferred growth, or tax-free growth in the case of a Roth IRA. Yet if the IRA passes directly to your beneficiary at your death and is immediately cashed out, the beneficiary can lose out on potentially massive tax savings. Not only will the beneficiary have to pay taxes on the total amount of the IRA in the year it was withdrawn, but he or she will also lose the ability to “stretch out” the required minimum distributions (RMDs) over their life expectancy.A properly drafted IRA Trust can ensure the IRA funds are not all withdrawn at once and the RMDs are stretched out over the beneficiary’s lifetime. Depending on the age of the beneficiary, this gives the IRA years—potentially even decades—of additional tax-deferred or tax-free growth.

4. Minors

If you want to name a minor child as the beneficiary of your IRA, they can’t inherit the account until they reach the age of majority. So without a trust, you’ll have to name a guardian or conservator to manage the IRA until the child comes of age.When the beneficiary reaches the age of majority, he or she can withdraw all of the IRA funds at once—and as we’ve seen, this can have serious disadvantages. With an IRA Trust, however, you name a trustee to handle the IRA management until the child comes of age. At that point, the IRA Trust’s terms can stipulate how and when the funds are distributed. Or the terms can even ensure the funds are held for the lifetime of your beneficiary, to be invested by your beneficiary through the trust.

Find out if an IRA Trust is right for you

While IRA Trusts can have major benefits, they’re not the best option for everyone. Laws regarding IRA Trusts vary widely from state to state, so in some places, they’ll be more effective than others. Plus, the value of IRA Trusts also varies greatly depending on your specific family situation, so not everyone will want to put these trusts in place.

If you have more than $150,000  in retirement accounts, consult with us to find out if an IRA Trust is the most suitable option for passing on your retirement savings to benefit your family.

Proper estate planning can keep your family out of conflict, out of court, and out of the public eye. If you’re ready to create a comprehensive estate plan, contact us to schedule your Estate Plan Strategy Session. Even if you already have a plan in place, we will review it and help you bring it up to date to avoid heartache for your family. Schedule online today.

Imagine this… You are an elderly grandparent who lives alone. You get a call in the middle of the night from your college-aged granddaughter. She’s frantic and crying, telling you she was mistakenly arrested while vacationing in Cancun.

She says she needs you to pay her $1,800 bond, or she’ll be transferred to a dangerous Mexican prison. The Mexican police told her she only has a few hours before she’s transferred, so she needs you to wire the money immediately.

She’s petrified about her parents finding out she was arrested and begs you not to tell them. Because she only has a couple of minutes to use the police station phone, the call ends abruptly before you can get any further details.What do you do?

If you’re like the thousands of others who’ve gotten just such a call, you’d probably wire the money in a heartbeat. It is your grandchild’s life after all. However, just like the others, you’d soon find out that your granddaughter hasn’t been arrested and was never in Mexico.

The Grandparent Scam

Known as the Grandparent Scam, this con has been around for years, and while it may seem far fetched, it has tricked many caring seniors. And in recent months, there has been an uptick in the number of people falling prey to the deception. The details can vary, but the scam typically works like this:

1) You get a call from someone pretending to be your grandchild. The “grandchild” explains he or she is in trouble and needs money immediately. They might be in jail and need bond or be stranded in a foreign country and need money to get out.

2) The caller asks you to wire money to a specific location or give it to a third party, usually someone posing as a lawyer or police officer.

3) The “grandchild” will often plead with you not to tell their parents they’re in trouble.

4) Once you send the money, the caller breaks off all contact, making it impossible to recover your funds.

Preying on the vulnerable

While just about anyone can fall for such scams, the elderly are the ones targeted most often. This is due to the fact that seniors are frequently lonely and eager to hear from family. And whether it’s because their hearing is failing or because they haven’t seen their family members in awhile, they’re more likely to not recognize voices.

Due to their advanced age, seniors are also less likely to think clearly in a crisis, making them more susceptible to fear and panic. Finally, the elderly are less familiar with technology and social media, so they don’t realize how easy it is to access enough of someone’s personal details to make the scenario seem realistic.

What to do

In most cases, the best course of action is to simply hang up and contact the authorities. However, if the caller really does sound like the family member they claim to be, here are some steps you can take to help verify the situation is legitimate:

1) Don’t panic. It’s far easier to be deceived if you’re nervous or scared.

2) Be wary of calls from unknown or blocked numbers. Ask to call them back on the person’s own phone, and never accept requests sent solely by email or text.

3) Verify the caller’s identity by asking them questions only the actual person would know the answer to, such as the name of their first pet.

4) Beware of urgent demands that money be sent immediately. Reputable sources don’t try to pressure you into making split-second financial decisions.

5) Call other family and friends to verify where the person is. A reputable source will respect your caution and give you the opportunity to verify the facts.

6) Requests for money to be wired are often scams, as it’s nearly impossible to get your money back in cases of fraud. Request a more secure transaction method, such as through a bank or PayPal. Legitimate sources are likely to offer multiple payment options.

Comprehensive protection

Please share this article with any seniors in your life. There are countless other scams out there that work in much the same way, so even if it’s not this particular con, by becoming aware how these deceptions work, they’ll be much less likely to fall for them.

Of course, scams and cons are just one threat to seniors’ financial security. Without comprehensive estate planning, there are numerous other ways your family’s wealth and assets can be squandered or lost which have nothing to do with fraud.

Consult with us to put planning strategies in place to safeguard your family’s finances and other assets, both tangible and intangible.

Proper estate planning can keep your family out of conflict, out of court, and out of the public eye. If you’re ready to create a comprehensive estate plan, contact us to schedule your Estate Plan Strategy Session. Even if you already have a plan in place, we will review it and help you bring it up to date to avoid heartache for your family. Schedule online today.

In today’s society, the once-unbreakable bond between parent and child is being increasingly eroded. This disconnect is wreaking havoc on children’s psychological development, while making parents feel powerless to get through to their kids. In more than 20 years of work and research, world-renowned family physician and child-development expert Gabor Maté discovered that a mix of social, economic, and cultural changes following WWII are a leading factor in this detachment. These changes have made it difficult for parents to provide the level of attention and intimacy needed for their relationship with their kids to remain strong.

And to fill this void, children are increasingly turning to their peer group for role models and mentors—often with disastrous results.

“They  are not manageable, teachable, or maturing because they no longer take their cues from us,” says Maté. “Instead, children are being brought up by other immature children who cannot possibly guide them to maturity.”Last week, we discussed how a lack of intimacy in the parent-child relationship has led kids to bond more intensely with their peers. Here, we’ll look at the devastating effects these peer-centered relationships can have, and how parents can reclaim their role as the chief-orienting influence in their children’s lives.

The crisis of the young

For evidence of just how unhealthy it can be when a child’s relationship with his or her peers matters more than the one they have with their parents, Maté points to the dramatic rise in violence, suicide, and mass shootings among today’s youth.

“The crisis of the young has manifested ominously in the growing problem of bullying in the schools and, at its very extreme, in the murder of children by children,” says Maté. “Such tragedies are only the most visible eruptions of a widespread malaise, an aggressive streak rife in today’s youth culture.”

Maté found that in the vast majority of childhood suicides, the key trigger was how the children were treated by their peers, not their parents. When kids consider acceptance from their peers as their primary source of fulfillment, rejection and bullying can be utterly Earth-shattering.

“The more peers matter,” says Maté, “the more children are devastated by the insensitive relating of their peers, by failing to fit in, by perceived rejection or ostracization.”

While youth bullying and violence are certainly nothing new, Maté believes the expanding influence of the Internet and social media makes today’s kids far more vulnerable.

“Technology and social media, which are very much geared and marketed toward strengthening the peer culture, give kids an additional power to do each other significant emotional harm,” says Maté.

The missing element

Outside of the obvious reasons why peers make terrible parenting substitutes, the crucial element missing from peer relationships is unconditional love.

“Absolutely missing in peer relationship is unconditional love and acceptance, the desire to nurture, the ability to extend oneself for the sake of the other, the willingness to sacrifice for the growth and development of the other,” says Maté.

Unconditional love is the most potent force in the parent-child bond, laying the foundation for the relationship’s strength, intimacy, and influence. Without unconditional love, the parenting relationship becomes no different than any other.

Just about anyone is capable of caring for another person as long as they fulfill their expectations. But outside of marriage, the family—chiefly, the parents—is typically the only source for this critically important factor.

Maté notes that some of today’s common disciplinary techniques can unintentionally signal to the child that parental love is only available if certain conditions are met. As an example, Maté explains how putting a child who’s throwing a tantrum into timeout can make it feel like the parent’s attention and love are merely conditional.

“Timeout withdraws your relationship from the child,” says Maté. “They learn they’re only acceptable to you if they please you. The relationship is seen as unstable and unreliable because it’s showing them you’re not available for them when they’re most upset.”

While this example is quite literal, Maté says that any behavior or action by the parent that threatens to undermine the unconditional nature of the parent-child relationship can be harmful. Without the underlying trust that their parents will be there for them no matter what, a children’s primary source of safety and trust becomes a source of insecurity.

When kids are in a state of insecurity, it’s easy for them to become defensive and enter into fight or flight mode. This makes them extremely difficult to communicate with, much less develop the level of intimacy needed for a close parental bond to form.

Reclaim your influence

To prevent children from seeking attachment from outside sources, Maté says parents must make their kids an offer that’s too good to refuse.

“Our challenge as parents is to provide an invitation that’s too desirable to turn down, a loving acceptance that no peer can provide,” says Maté.

Rather than resorting to special parenting techniques, Maté stresses that the best thing parents can do to become closer with their kids is to simply take pleasure in being with them.

“A real relationship with kids doesn’t depend on words; it depends on the capacity to be with them,” says Maté. “Welcome their presence with your body language and energy. Express delight in the child’s very being.” And your most challenging job as a parent is to do this even when they are pushing your every button, as all kids inevitably do.

No matter how your children are behaving, consider a way to show them that they’re  loved and accepted unconditionally. This may go against everything you learned from your parents, but consider doing it anyway. And if you find this particularly difficult, take Mate’s advice and think back about what you would’ve really wanted from your own parents in such a situation.

“The ultimate gift is to make a child feel invited to exist in your presence exactly as he or she is at the moment,” says Maté. “Children must know they’re wanted, special, valued, appreciated, and enjoyed. For children to fully receive this invitation, it needs to be genuine and unconditional.”

When children get this level of acceptance, they naturally desire to become closer with whomever is offering it. Rather than fearing or being threatened by their parents, children want to be with them. They want to follow them. Once this unconditional relationship is established and/or restored, Maté says that parents will be able to parent intuitively.

“If we know how to be with our children and who to be for them, we need much less advice on what to do,” says Maté. “Practical parenting approaches emerge spontaneously from our own experience. We don’t have to resort to techniques or manuals—we act from understanding and empathy.”

Express your love with estate planning

Estate planning is one of your chief responsibilities as a parent, but it’s also one of the greatest expressions of your unconditional love. You can use estate planning to show your children that you love them unconditionally, that you’re here for them no matter what, and you can even begin to involve them in the process right now to varying degrees depending on their age. Indeed, the planning process itself can be an opportunity to enhance your connection with your kids. Communicating clearly about what you want to happen in the event of your incapacity or death (and talking with your children about what they want) can foster a deeper bond and sense of intimacy than just about anything else you can do.

We can help guide and support you in having these intimate discussions in an age-and-stage appropriate way with your children. Indeed, our clients consistently share that after undergoing our estate planning process, they feel a deeper sense of connection with their children.

While estate planning isn’t likely to completely fix your relationship with your kids, it can be an important first step in regaining that all-important sense of intimacy and trust Maté describes.

Proper estate planning can keep your family out of conflict, out of court, and out of the public eye. If you’re ready to create a comprehensive estate plan, contact us to schedule your Estate Plan Strategy Session. Even if you already have a plan in place, we will review it and help you bring it up to date to avoid heartache for your family. Schedule online today.